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  • The term “domestic violence” often conjures images of an abusive spouse terrorizing the home. This scenario certainly exists, but legally, the crime is much broader than that. Domestic violence can happen between any intimate partners, but this can mean people who just started dating or had only a one-night fling. Any two people who live together could be accused of domestic violence, even if they have no contact outside the house.

    Furthermore, a domestic violence charge can happen between blood relatives, regardless of how close their relationship is.

    A domestic abuse accusation can ruin your life, especially when it involves a family member. People who don’t know the full story will assume that you’re a spouse-beater, and the charge will come up on background checks.

    If you’ve been accused of domestic violence, here are some defenses you can discuss with your attorney.

    You and the Family Member Are Estranged

    Imagine this scenario: Two sisters with bad blood agree to attend Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family. As the night wears on and the alcohol flows, a physical altercation breaks out among the siblings.

    Technically, either sister could be accused of domestic violence, which simply isn’t fair. These sisters rarely speak to or see one another. They are essentially enemies who avoid each other.

    You may be able to use this kind of estrangement as a defense in your case. This claim doesn’t necessarily deny that the violence occurred. It simply argues that a domestic violence charge is unreasonable. You and the alleged victim are mostly strangers, which is not the same as someone who beats their spouse or other live-in relatives.

    You Engaged in Mutual Combat

    Domestic violence, as a criminal charge, should be reserved for someone who abuses the people in their home. It should also apply to a dangerous ex who harasses and abuses their former lover.

    Let’s return to the sisters we mentioned above. If one of them hit the other one by surprise, then the attacker should be held responsible for their assault. What if, however, both of them stood up, started taking off jewelry, and got into a fighting stance before the violence began? You can make a strong case that they both knew they were in a fight and consented to it. This is called “mutual combat,” and it can work as an effective defense.

    You Acted in Self-Defense

    In Virginia, you have the right to defend yourself against a physical attack. Your relationship with the attacker is irrelevant.

    Justified self-defense requires the following:

    • A genuine belief that you are in danger
    • That danger is imminent
    • Not fighting back could lead to serious bodily harm
    • The defense is proportionate to the attack

    You Made Accidental Contact

    In a heated argument, you often point, wave your hands, and gesture wildly, and you’re probably not paying much attention to these actions. It’s easy to accidentally hit someone or knock them over. Out of anger, frustration, or plain revenge, they can turn around and accuse you of domestic violence.

    Intent is a big part of any criminal accusation. If you didn’t mean to hurt someone, you can use this fact as a legitimate defense in your case.

    You Didn’t Have Any Other Choice

    Picture a situation where someone in the home is having an explosive mental health crisis. They are screaming, crying, and throwing things. You try to calm them down, but nothing works. Out of desperation and fear, you lash out and slap them.

    It’s important to uncover all the facts in a criminal case. Human behavior doesn’t always fit into a nice legal box. Technically, lashing out at someone is against the law, but a good lawyer can help create understanding in your case. If there is any doubt about your intent, you could remain free of a guilty sentence.

    Our firm can is here to help those who’ve been accused of domestic violence. For a free consultation, reach out to us online or call us at (757) 267-4949.

    The Facts About Domestic Violence Against a Family Member
  • Contemplating divorce is hard; going through it with a narcissistic soon-to-be ex is another battle. In addition to the stress of a relationship breaking up and changing family dynamics, divorcing a narcissistic person would mean dealing with blackmail, violence, manipulation, and unreasonableness. These narcissistic traits generally lead to a longer divorce process and significant financial burdens for the divorcing couple. In these difficult circumstances, a person seeking a divorce must be prepared to keep their and their loved ones safe and have relevant documents available to support their divorce petition.

    Some of the essential things a person anticipating a contentious divorce with a narcissistic partner keep the following in mind:

    Gather Financial Information

    A significant aspect of a divorce is the couple’s financials. Financial information is vital to any divorce as it may affect alimony, child support, or the division of assets. A narcissistic spouse could lie, withhold, or manipulate financial information about marriage. To alleviate this risk, it is critical for a person contemplating divorce to get this information as soon as possible.

    Financial information may include but is not limited to bank records, investment records, debt, income, and a list of properties.

    Collect and Organize Personal Documents

    In addition to the financial information, a person with a narcissistic spouse should have their documents handy or set aside at a safe location. This is critical as a problematic situation may arise where a person may have to flee the shared home unexpectedly, or they may be locked out of collecting their belongings and should have certain documents handy or set aside at a different location. Although replacing personal records is possible, it usually takes significant time and effort. Moreover, these documents are generally used for filing a divorce, incident reports, and everyday living.

    These critical personal documents may include but are not limited to passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, and identification cards.

    Keep Detailed Notes of Important Conversations and Encounters

    Narcissistic people tend to lie and manipulate the situation to serve their purpose. It is best to keep emails, letters, or detailed notes of conversations, interactions, or conditions documenting what happened to combat issues during the divorce process. This information may be valuable during the divorce when the narcissistic spouse attempts to manipulate the situation or recollection of an encounter.

    Have a Safety Plan For You and Your Loved Ones

    Narcissistic people tend to use violence if they do not get their way. During this tense time, the safety of the person initiating the divorce or the children may be threatened. A person must have a safety plan to ensure their safety and sanity during this severe event. Having a safety plan may mean they have a person who could protect them or a place where they can seek shelter while they plan or go through the divorce process. Such a safe place can be a local shelter, family member, or a trusted friend.

    A thorough safety plan also includes having cash set aside. This is particularly important, especially if a person has to leave the premises immediately or would have unable to access the couple’s home or bank. By having some cash at hand, a person can safely seek shelter or facilitate a safe way to live away from a narcissistic spouse.

    The Law Offices of Daniel J. Miller is committed to defending the rights and interests during the divorce process. Our well-experienced attorneys have successfully handled numerous contentious divorces on behalf of our clients. Most importantly, our lawyers are prepared and dedicated to guiding our clients through stressful divorces with narcissistic spouses.

    Divorcing a Narcissist